1/21/2017 0 Comments Relationship theoriesWhen thinking of the scientific method, I previously thought it only went with science and only had one rotation of how it worked. However, I learned that the scientific method can go from any point to another and it was used with family studies to develop relationship theories. These theories not only go with the family, but with friendships and boyfriends/girlfriends. The theories include:
A boy and girl have been going on a few dates. They are starting to understand each other, but still learning. She is feeling sad one day and doesn’t say much, hoping he will ask what is going on with her. He, however, thinks she has become disinterested in him and backs off. This causes her sadness and frustration to increase, making him back off even more. Eventually, the two stop talking and dating all together. Any guesses which theory/theories describe this? First, symbolic interaction comes into play. To the girl, being quite means she is upset; to the boy, it means she doesn’t like him. Second, the system theory appears with circular causality. The girl being quiet caused the boy to pull away, which caused the girl to be more quiet, making the boy pull away more, and the cycle continues. The exchange theory also makes an appearance in this situation. The boy feels that she is not giving as much as he would like her to and vice versa, so one or the other pulls away. Although it isn’t very obvious, the two are fighting for one resource, attention. Thus, the conflict theory shows as well. Salvador Minuchin was a therapist who came up with family mapping to explain the family relationships between his patients. There three types of boundaries. The first is much like a house with a concrete wall around it, closed off. The second is like a house with only fence posts surrounding it, allowing all to enter, thus it was open. The third is like a house with a short white picket fence around it, making boundaries clear and understandable. When I first read about mapping, I thought that open was the best. However, being so open that people have to guess your boundaries is just as bad as being closed off to all. Being clear with where you stand makes it easy for people to understand you. Minuchin also noticed that these relationships are constantly changing. They can go from closed to open, to clear in one therapy session. Along with this Minuchin proved that when couples are fighting, being near each other, and having physical touch of some kind, improves a relationship. My professor did a mock therapy session in class with volunteers who did not know each other. In the beginning they were very closed off to each other. However, at the end of this “session” the three students felt close to each other, even when playing different roles. Overall, this week I learned that relationships can be misunderstood. Communication is so key to understanding the other person. You should be willing to give as much, if not more than you take. Having the right amount of physical touch can improve a relationship. I hope you can take these theories and use them to improve your relationships, just as I am trying to do!
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1/13/2017 0 Comments The Fear of CommitmentWhat is love? Is it the butterflies we feel in our stomach when we think of someone or hang around them? Or the way they make us smile without trying? Is it the sinking feeling we get when we picture life without them? Or is it the physical affection they show us? If these are the definitions of love, do you think these feelings will last forever, or will they fade? One of the biggest reasons for couples to divorce is that they just don't feel love anymore, or aren't as "in love" as they thought they were. Does this mean that love isn't just a feeling?
To me, love means commitment. Beck once said, "The degree to which we love someone is the degree to which we are committed." Many of us "millennials" have commitment issues. So, if love and commitment are equal, then we not only have commitment issues, but love issues. We use terms like “catching feelings” instead of liking someone. We only do the bare minimum to keep a relationship going, rather than giving our all. We have “NCMOs” (non-committal make outs). We “hang out” so that we can be around someone we like, but still have our options open since we’re not technically “dating.” Why? When did this suddenly become the “norm”? Maybe it was when we decided that whatever was on social media was true or right. Or the time everyone else’s opinions mattered more than our own self-worth. Or the day we started seeing people as objects instead of human beings with feelings like our own. No matter what day it started, we can choose the day to change it. We can decide to love and commit to someone, rather than play games. We can have a successful marriage and family for the rest of our lives if we will fully commit ourselves to them. Ask anyone who has been married for a significant amount of time, the key to a successful family is commitment. 1/7/2017 3 Comments Who am I?My name is Natalie Jolley. I am 20 years old and I was born and raised in Firth, Idaho. I am currently a sophomore at BYU-Idaho. Right now I am studying Child Development in hopes to become a Speech Pathologist some day. I made this blog for my Family Relations class. I will be discussing some insights from my class and sharing my feelings about family relations, so I hope you enjoy!
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ArchivesCategoriesCheck out my classmates' blogs!
Andrea Ashley Muse http://alittlebitaboutfamily.blogspot.com Hannah Westerlind http://hraefamilyrelations.blogspot.com Lauryn Larkin http://laurynannettemcclain.blogspot.com Kelli-Marie McNair http://mcnairfamilyties.weebly.com Kenzie Calderwood http://kenziekate3.wixsite.com/mysite Kaylee Crossley http://kayleerene.blogspot.com Madison Reed http://www.myyoungwildandmarriedlife.com Shelbie Merrill http://shelbiefamilyrelations.blogspot.com Abbigayle Shaffer http://fightingforfamily18.blogspot.com Joshua Lapeyrouse http://everything-and-anything-plus-more.blogspot.com Amy Jacques https://theneedtoknowthings-family.blogspot.com Emily Nichols http://emilymarriageandfamily.weebly.com Bonnie Ferguson http://bonniefamilyrelations.weebly.com Caia Wheeler https://idahomemaker.wordpress.com/ Amberlea Kay http://amberleakay.blogspot.com Leticia Calderon-Rios http://lotsoflittlethings17.blogspot.com Morgan Ogden http://morgansfamilycoursereflections.blogspot.com Karly Buchanan http://familyrelationsbykarlyb.blogspot.com Kelsey Trent https://lipglossplusflipflops.wordpress.com Melanie Chantry http://myfamilyrelationsjournal.blogspot.com Alyssa Wiley http://the-ramblings-of-a-young-mind.blogspot.com Megan Garner http://www.garnstar.blogspot.com Alayna Hudson http://thoughtsaboutfamily.blogspot.com Kayla Guy http://kaylaguy4.weebly.com/blog Ryan Landes http://ryanfamilyrelations.blogspot.com Mariah Honda http://eternalroads.weebly.com Amy Jacques http://theneedtoknowthings-family.blogspot.com Sarah Knight http://skfamilyrelations.weebly.com Christopher Holden http://relationsfamily.blogspot.com Hannah Boots http://familyrelationsb.weebly.com Bailee Freeman http://relationsfamily.weebly.com Rachael Sparacino https://rachaeladela.wordpress.com/ |