1/21/2017 0 Comments Relationship theoriesWhen thinking of the scientific method, I previously thought it only went with science and only had one rotation of how it worked. However, I learned that the scientific method can go from any point to another and it was used with family studies to develop relationship theories. These theories not only go with the family, but with friendships and boyfriends/girlfriends. The theories include:
A boy and girl have been going on a few dates. They are starting to understand each other, but still learning. She is feeling sad one day and doesn’t say much, hoping he will ask what is going on with her. He, however, thinks she has become disinterested in him and backs off. This causes her sadness and frustration to increase, making him back off even more. Eventually, the two stop talking and dating all together. Any guesses which theory/theories describe this? First, symbolic interaction comes into play. To the girl, being quite means she is upset; to the boy, it means she doesn’t like him. Second, the system theory appears with circular causality. The girl being quiet caused the boy to pull away, which caused the girl to be more quiet, making the boy pull away more, and the cycle continues. The exchange theory also makes an appearance in this situation. The boy feels that she is not giving as much as he would like her to and vice versa, so one or the other pulls away. Although it isn’t very obvious, the two are fighting for one resource, attention. Thus, the conflict theory shows as well. Salvador Minuchin was a therapist who came up with family mapping to explain the family relationships between his patients. There three types of boundaries. The first is much like a house with a concrete wall around it, closed off. The second is like a house with only fence posts surrounding it, allowing all to enter, thus it was open. The third is like a house with a short white picket fence around it, making boundaries clear and understandable. When I first read about mapping, I thought that open was the best. However, being so open that people have to guess your boundaries is just as bad as being closed off to all. Being clear with where you stand makes it easy for people to understand you. Minuchin also noticed that these relationships are constantly changing. They can go from closed to open, to clear in one therapy session. Along with this Minuchin proved that when couples are fighting, being near each other, and having physical touch of some kind, improves a relationship. My professor did a mock therapy session in class with volunteers who did not know each other. In the beginning they were very closed off to each other. However, at the end of this “session” the three students felt close to each other, even when playing different roles. Overall, this week I learned that relationships can be misunderstood. Communication is so key to understanding the other person. You should be willing to give as much, if not more than you take. Having the right amount of physical touch can improve a relationship. I hope you can take these theories and use them to improve your relationships, just as I am trying to do!
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