4/1/2017 0 Comments Divorce &remarriage![]() Fun facts about divorce: Americans divorce more than any other people. Couples that cohabit are three times as likely to get divorced. 70% of couples that divorced, 2 years later say they should have saved the marriage. 70% of men are remarried within two years of divorce. 74% of marriages don’t divorce. Although these are fun facts, one thing is for sure, divorce is not fun for any party involved. So, if divorce isn’t fun, why does it happen so often? One of the most common reasons people give is: “there were/are too many incompatibilities.” There are always incompatibilities. Research has shown that couples that get divorced have 10 areas of incompatibility. Strong couples, on the other hand, have 10 areas of incompatibility. You read that right. All couples have areas of incompatibility, but it’s not the incompatibility that’s the problem, it’s what we do with the incompatibility. As shown in this graph, divorce rates had the highest spike at the end of World War II. There are a lot of reasons for this, but we aren’t going to focus on that. Up until 1969, to get divorced, one partner had to have committed one of the “3 A’s”. These included adultery, abandonment, or abuse. Because divorce was usually only allowed with one of these 3 things, most people who had incompatibilities worked through their them, adapting to the struggles. In 1969, California created the “No Fault” divorce rule. This was mainly created for celebrities so that their 3 A’s weren’t put into the news. However, this new rule allowed a lot of non-celebrities to get out of their marriages as well. This is when the divorce rate grew again. Marriage is now easier to get out of than an apartment contract. Interestingly, those likely to divorce in 1969, were the children whose parents divorced in 1946-1948. Is that a coincidence? Research doesn’t think so. You see, most children look to parents as models. This doesn’t mean that all children with divorced parents will get a divorce. It just means that they are more likely because of the examples they have had in their life. So, as a parent, it is important that you set a good example for your children. In order for them to create a strong attachment with someone else, they need to have a secure attachment with you. Please, don’t think that I am saying no one should get a divorce. It is obvious that there are marriages that are simply unhealthy and it would be better for the couple to divorce. If you have tried to make the marriage work, and can say with a strong conscience that it is best for you to divorce, that is your choice. Always remember the well-being of your children during this, though. Many divorcees get remarried again. Whether you call it a step family, blended family, or whatever else you can think of, there are helpful guidelines to remember. The first is that it will take a minimum of 2 years for “normalcy.” Also, it is suggested that you date for 2 years before getting married. The next guideline is to remember that it will never feel or look like a 2-biological parent family. When it comes to parenting, the biological parent should do all of the heavy correction and discipline. The step parent should be more of a good aunt or uncle. This doesn’t mean to spoil the children and undermine your partner. It means that you should be the one to empathize, talk to them, and give them advice, while supporting your partner. The last guideline is that you should have more family councils than a biological family. It will create closeness within the family.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
ArchivesCategoriesCheck out my classmates' blogs!
Andrea Ashley Muse http://alittlebitaboutfamily.blogspot.com Hannah Westerlind http://hraefamilyrelations.blogspot.com Lauryn Larkin http://laurynannettemcclain.blogspot.com Kelli-Marie McNair http://mcnairfamilyties.weebly.com Kenzie Calderwood http://kenziekate3.wixsite.com/mysite Kaylee Crossley http://kayleerene.blogspot.com Madison Reed http://www.myyoungwildandmarriedlife.com Shelbie Merrill http://shelbiefamilyrelations.blogspot.com Abbigayle Shaffer http://fightingforfamily18.blogspot.com Joshua Lapeyrouse http://everything-and-anything-plus-more.blogspot.com Amy Jacques https://theneedtoknowthings-family.blogspot.com Emily Nichols http://emilymarriageandfamily.weebly.com Bonnie Ferguson http://bonniefamilyrelations.weebly.com Caia Wheeler https://idahomemaker.wordpress.com/ Amberlea Kay http://amberleakay.blogspot.com Leticia Calderon-Rios http://lotsoflittlethings17.blogspot.com Morgan Ogden http://morgansfamilycoursereflections.blogspot.com Karly Buchanan http://familyrelationsbykarlyb.blogspot.com Kelsey Trent https://lipglossplusflipflops.wordpress.com Melanie Chantry http://myfamilyrelationsjournal.blogspot.com Alyssa Wiley http://the-ramblings-of-a-young-mind.blogspot.com Megan Garner http://www.garnstar.blogspot.com Alayna Hudson http://thoughtsaboutfamily.blogspot.com Kayla Guy http://kaylaguy4.weebly.com/blog Ryan Landes http://ryanfamilyrelations.blogspot.com Mariah Honda http://eternalroads.weebly.com Amy Jacques http://theneedtoknowthings-family.blogspot.com Sarah Knight http://skfamilyrelations.weebly.com Christopher Holden http://relationsfamily.blogspot.com Hannah Boots http://familyrelationsb.weebly.com Bailee Freeman http://relationsfamily.weebly.com Rachael Sparacino https://rachaeladela.wordpress.com/ |